ARTWORK ALCHEMY

reflection → acceptance → appreciation → release

This rabbit hole started with a phone call from my mother. She very kindly, yet firmly, requested I finally move all my college artwork out from her crawlspace (sorry it took so long, Ma). Lucky for me, my mom is also a goddamn saint. The following weekend, she drove that car-full of drawings and paintings up to Steamboat Springs for me.

Back in my Steamboat cabin - many miles and years away from where all this work was originally created - I began going through the numerous rolls of enormous conté drawings, oil paintings, and newsprint figure drawings now overtaking my studio space. My artwork from those years seemed to vibrate with echos of the person I was and the experiences I weathered during my early 20’s. I found the natural distance of time and change had created merciful perspective. While I wouldn’t consider many of those pieces to be my best work, I could still appreciate the role they played in helping me develop my skill set and sense of expression. I wasn’t denying the reflection of my former self emanating from my old artwork, instead recognizing that she did the best she could with what she understood. The sheer volume of work I had also struck me - honestly, just stacks on rolls and rolls on stacks of drawings.

I followed the momentum of this intriguing process. I began using my old artwork as a medium to create new work that resonated with my present self. I tore up old, representational drawings and assembled the pieces into more three dimensional, abstract work. I took an X-acto knife to monoprints, introduced new ink and charcoal marks into old drawings and prints, even burned torn pieces of a photograph to become an element in a new piece. The arguably destructive facet in this process felt necessary, sacred almost; a physical reflection of embracing the all encompassing reality of change.

This alchemy of my own art is an experiment in consciously utilizing my creativity as a tool for internal understanding and healing. An exercise in reflecting on past dysfunctional patterns, beliefs and experiences > accepting how they no longer serve me > appreciating the lessons they catalyzed > and finally releasing them, a catharsis to make space for beliefs and perspective that better fit where I am today.

< below are my old pieces, forged through my process of alchemy to create the artwork above >